The Atrabilious Nihilarian

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Take it Apart

Sarah Magnolia

Broken Pieces by Vadim Sherbakov Picture Taken by: Vadim Sherbakov Image Courtesy:

Sometimes we need to remember that if we take it all apart we’ll just find pieces.

But underneath people – we find their heart and their desires.

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Raising a child to my path

She loves the moon.  She loves to be outdoors.  She loves to dance barefoot in the grass and play with sticks and dig in the dirt bare handed.

She is, for now, making it a bit easier to introduce her to the life of loving at least the dirt worshiping part.

Putting her to bed tonight this was the refrain in my head:

Good night, Moon.

Good night, Stars.

Good night, Ancestors, near and far.

Watch over me tonight and let me rest,

So I can try again tomorrow, to be and do my very best.

Random life

Random life bits: Today I got a new phone, which isn’t really new, but it is to me, so good enough.  I then promptly lost my old phone, before I could get all of the photos and videos of my daughter off the memory card in it.

I realized tonight that I am currently spending 21 hours a week putting my child to bed – either for naps or at bedtime.  I have decided that I really need to consider stripping her bedroom bare and locking her in it until she figures out how to go to sleep on her own.  Spending an entire day of my week just putting her to bed is ridiculous at her age.

I also realized tonight just how ill suited I am to parenthood.  I wished, for a heartbeat or two, that I could have a job, just so I’d have an excuse to pay the exorbitant daycare fees ($115 a week) to get her away from me for a while.  While I do think that she needs some kind of socialization with other kids, I cannot justify paying $460 a month for the 6 months a year I would be unable to avail myself of their services.  Which sucks. Because I REALLY want to put her in daycare.

I’d call it “rules for living through retrograde”. A very good post for surviving the emotional upheavals of this particular Mercury Rx period.



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